Warning: Random post…are you noticing a trend here yet? 🙂
Ok, I feel like I’ve done enough of this pregnancy business to finally have an opinion of it. And even at almost 39 weeks, even swollen and unable to move, you know what I think?
I think it’s still an absolute miracle.
I feel like I’ve been complaining a lot in the past few weeks, and I regret that. Just being completely honest here, even though this is the most absolute amazing thing ever, it’s not all pretty. You can’t function. You’re in pain a good bit of the time. You don’t sleep very much (I know, I know, I haven’t even started…). But it is SO worth it in the end!
I think I’ve kind of gotten a wake-up call as to how blessed I am this week. I was at the doctor’s office Monday morning (just for my weekly check-up), and my chart was laying out on the table. When the nurse opened it, there was a post-it note on the inside that was from my D&C I’m assuming – it had some details of it I’d rather not have known. I try not to think about the miscarriages very much, but that just hit me. Yes, I’m not feeling too hot right now. But this time last year I would have given anything on this earth to feel like this!
I am trying not to take a second of this process for granted. Even though I’m uncomfortable, I’m uncomfortable because there is a human growing inside there. Not just a human, but a perfect combination of Noah and me. I still just can’t even wrap my mind around that. I am so grateful.
And I realize there are a lot of you out there that might be reading this waiting on your time. Just know I still pray for you all the time. I remember how hard it is to wait, and how hard it is to lose. Just please keep hoping that your time will come!
It’s almost time to have this little girl, and I realize I’ll go back to normal soon…but right now? I’m trying to enjoy every second of this while it lasts. Painful or not.