Thursday, August 25, 2011

Faith

As many of you know, Noah and I have been trying to grow our family for a little over a year now. 

This hasn't always been an easily traveled road.

We got pregnant fairly easily in September of last year, only to have a tumultuous pregnancy end in a devastating miscarriage at about 7 weeks.  Then, to our shock, we were pregnant again two months later.  This too ended in a very early miscarriage...this time, I was only a little over 4 weeks.

After that, I was broken...the most broken I had ever been (and hope to ever be).  I wouldn't wish the life I was living on my worst enemy.  I did everything I could to keep my mind off of it, yet it was all I could think about.

But somehow, I never, ever gave up the faith that I was going to be a mother.  Never, not for a second.  I didn't know what road I was going to have to take, and I didn't know how long I would be traveling on that road, but I knew where I was headed.   This was an absolute constant.

We sought professional help for what we only figured could be a major problem. This "help" only left us more lost.  I was put on medication I don't believe was ever necessary in the first place, and that gave me a laundry list of side effects that I truly believe kept me from getting pregnant for several months.

To my surprise, the specialist tried to put me back on the same medicine that had completely wrecked my body a month later.

And that's where I think God took over.

As I was listening to the voice mail from the nurse that day, I heard a message from God clearer than I ever have.  It was just to step away, and have faith in Him to take care of it.

So I did.  I politely called the nurse back and told her we would be totally stepping away from any treatment.  I'm sure she thought I was a nut job, but I didn't really care.  I knew what I was doing was right.

So we tried on our own, without any medicine.  This lasted for a few months (five I think?), and nothing happened.  It was taking longer than it ever had for me to get pregnant, so I was getting a little impatient.  I called my doctor (not the specialist, my regular doctor, who ROCKS), and she told me to wait until September, and if nothing had happened, we'd talk.

So if I was going to have to wait, we were at least going to give it 100%. :)

We went on an incredible vacation in June, but because of our travel schedules after that, I honestly didn't think there was a chance for that month.  So I tried to focus on July as "our month."

We were also out of town at the beginning of July for Noah's birthday/the Fourth of July.  A couple of days after we got home, I had two very, very vivid dreams about getting a positive pregnancy test.  Like, had one, it was so strong it woke me up, went back to sleep, had another one, woke me up again.  By that point, Noah was leaving for work, and I thought, "why not?"

I wasn't even supposed to test for another 4 days...it was super early, and I had never gotten a positive test that early.  But that day, the second line showed up as clear as day (light, but clear as day).

I immediately started crying, and found the old extra digital test in the bathroom drawer I had been saving for just such an occasion.  Sure enough...




Though this pregnancy hasn't been without it's own troubles, I've really never lost that faith that this was it.  This is the baby I'm going to get to take home.

And today, we went for our fourth ultrasound...which confirmed that it's looking like I'm going to be right. :)


"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  -Jeremiah 29:11

We are so blessed to announce that I am 11 weeks pregnant with a perfect, healthy baby!

More details to come. :)