Year In Review 2010

This is a post that has been a long time in the making.  It definitely won't go down as the best year of our lives, but it might just mean the most.

January - The year started off great!  Alabama won the national championship on December 7th.  On the same day, we had a snow day (which are just about my favorite days of the year).  It was a fun month!

February - In a rare double dose of snow days, we had our second one the Friday before Valentine's day. 

March-April - Same ol', same ol'.  Really nothing too interesting in these months, just living life!  I knew life was about to get exciting though...

May - I finished my first year of teaching.  We went to Gulf Shores a few weeks after the oil spill...with no oil in sight!  That was also the weekend I had a pretty TDAP vaccine, and though I was dying.  We started getting ready for the trip of our lives at the end of the month!

June - At the very beginning of the month, we went on the best vacation of our lives...Alaska!  Now I can tell you that this was meant to be our "baby-moon." :)  We had no idea what was about to hit us though.  I came back from Alaska, not pregnant (much to my shock...), and finished teaching summer school.  We went to Noah's hometown, Hattiesburg, at the end of the month.

July - We started the month in Hattiesburg.  Noah turned 26 on the 4th, and I turned 25 on the 15th.  I was very disappointed when I didn't find out on my birthday that I was pregnant (which is what I thought would happen all along).  I wish I could sit down and have a good long talk with that girl. :)  We went on a trip to New Orleans at the end of the month, just as a end-of-summer vacation.

August - I was getting ready to head back to school.  We found out Noah's brother and his wife were expecting.  I also found out around mid-August that I was not pregnant again.  This is the point where I started to get kind of sad about it all.  Once again, wish I could have a chat with that girl. :)  Alabama started their football season at the end of the month.

September - The first week of the month was work, work, work.  On September 10th, I took a pregnancy test, and found out I was pregnant.  From the beginning, we had trouble with the pregnancy, but I was hopeful (even if only in the back of my mind, sometimes) that this would be our take-home baby.  It was a very trying time though - I did everything I knew to do to save the pregnancy, which took a lot out of me (emotionally and physically).  On the last day of this month, we had an ultrasound that showed our 6 week, 3 day pregnancy measuring 5 weeks, 5 days.  Even though our doctor was hopeful that our dates were just off,  my instinct knew that this was over.

October - The first week of October was incredibly trying.  We were basically in limbo for a week on whether or not our child would survive.  On October 7th, I went in for another ultrasound to see if the baby had grown sufficiently.  Unfortunately, it had not.  I had a D&C later that day to quicken an inevitable miscarriage.  The rest of the month was just really spent trying to cope with what had happened.  There was a lot of crying and a lot of praying, I assure you.  Everybody in our lives assured us it was a fluke event, and would never happen again.

November - Just kind of a continuation of October.  It was just an incredibly sad time.  I found an awesome sale on baby stuff early in the month, and bought several of our big items...and cried the whole way home.  It slowly did get easier to deal with everything though, and we went to Gatlinburg at the end of the month (this is all I blogged about this one - I just haven't been able to bring myself to write about it anymore, for personal reasons).

December - On December 3rd, I got the test that told me our nightmare was over...I was pregnant again.  I had the same problems I did with my first pregnancy, but I was hopeful that it was just a coincidence.  That was a Friday - by the next Tuesday, I tested negative in a doctor's office.  I was absolutely devastated.  I actually miscarried on our 3rd wedding anniversary, December 8th.  This was the point we began to pursue testing for why we were miscarrying.  On December 27th, we met with a RE, and had extensive testing done (still waiting to hear back from most of that).  We are very hopeful that this is our key to a healthy pregnancy!

Like I said, this was an incredibly trying year, but it was also a year where we learned so, so much.  I know I will take so much out of 2010, I just don't know what yet.  I'm so hopeful that 2011 is our lucky year!

First RE Appointment

Today went better than I could have ever imagined!

It was a very early morning.  We had to be in Birmingham (about an hour away) by 8:30, but with traffic, we thought we should leave by 6:45.  Well of course traffic is nothing since it's the week between Christmas/New Year's, so we were there by 7:45.  They were able to get us in early though, and since it was a long appointment, that's a good thing!

I think we had every test known to man done today.  They checked both of us for all kinds of things (and drew twelve vials of my blood in the process).  The only one I know about so far was my ultrasound - everything checked out fine (no fibroids/cysts).  She was even able to tell that I ovulated this month...how cool is that?  I've never had a good experience with an ultrasound, so this is new territory to me. :)

We also met with the doctor for a little bit, and gave her the medical history of every member of our family and of us.  She's a little suspicious of a couple of things - my grandmother had a blood clotting disorder, and those can be hereditary...so that could be our problem (that was one of my blood tests).  (TMI warning here) She also didn't like that I am spotting a few days before my period each month and during both of the pregnancies.  Sooo...I'm officially a Clomid user.  She said that Clomid can fix the before-period spotting, and can improve my egg/lining quality.  So, if I'm not pregnant this month, I'll start that next cycle.

The best part of the WHOLE day was finding out that our insurance covers most of this!  Thank you so much for the prayers in this area.  I only have a $5 co-pay on lab work, and about a $50 nurse consult co-pay.  Put it this way - my insurance saved us about $1000 just today.  And, if it comes to this, I'll have 8 IUI's covered under my insurance as well!  I am so thankful for all of this. (And yes, I am under PEEHIP for those that asked - it's fabulous!)

So now, we're waiting to see what the lab work shows, and if I'm pregnant this month.  If not, I've got to have several ultrasounds in a couple of weeks, and I'm doing a round of Clomid next month.  From what I know about IUI (very limited amount, mind you), they're basically treating me like I'm having one, except just not having the actual procedure.  That is a possibility for next month though, depending on how the Clomid treats my system.  We'll see on that one.

I'm still kind of digesting all of this, so I'm sorry if this is jumbled/rambling.  Let's just say this - I haven't had a lot of hope for the past month.  Now though, I really feel like these people are going to find what is wrong and fix it.  I'm very hopeful that this nightmare is going to be over soon!

Life Lately

Life lately has been very different.  We're getting ready for our first appointment with the infertility specialists this Wednesday.  It's so weird to be put under the umbrella of infertility, since we really don't have a big problem getting pregnant.  It's staying pregnant that is our problem.

I just got through filling out the paperwork for the appointment (there's a TON of it).  I feel like I just told this place my entire life history.  But if it helps me get my baby, it's worth it!  We're still a little concerned whether or not insurance is going to cover the testing and any procedures/medications I have to have...so prayers in that department would be very appreciated.  Depending on the cost, there's no way we can afford these tests on our own.  We find out Wednesday what is covered and what isn't, so we'll see.

I keep saying that, no matter what the tests tell us, I want to know.  I've read that only about half of the people that get tested after recurrent miscarriages actually find out what is wrong.  That's ok with me actually.  Even if we find out that there is nothing wrong and these were just a complete fluke, I still want to know that there isn't something we could be preventing.

This past week has been pretty rough.  This would have been the week I found out the sex of the baby with the first pregnancy, and would have been the week we saw the heartbeat with the second pregnancy.  We also would have told our families about the second pregnancy this week (we already had it planned out)...add all of that in with Christmas, and it was just very difficult.  I held it together for the most part, but there were definitely times when I broke down.  I've never known a Christmas like this.  It's usually my favorite time of year, but it was just so, so different this year.  I completely understand why there are people that have a hard time with the holidays now (which I never understood before).

It's a big week for us, and I'm just trying to stay busy as much as possible to keep my mind off of it.  Christmas decorations are coming down TODAY.  I'm also trying to catch up on blog work (which I've been a TOTAL slacker in lately) this afternoon, and clean this wreck of a house. :)

If I can get to next weekend with a clean house, nothing to do, and some answers as to why this is happening, I'll be a happy girl.

Now That's Funny

This might be my new favorite commercial...

Top 5 reasons this commercial is awesome...

1.  We ACTUALLY do this.  Noah compared Roll Tide to Mahalo or Aloha the other day...it's just kind of like our universal greeting.  None of these scenes (except for the last one maybe) are too far-fetched to see in Alabama.

2.  The very first scene has a Tuscaloosa News stand in it...which means it was filmed locally.  You can't (as far as I know) just get those things shipped in.

3.  They used the real Miss Alabama for this.  They also used a real news reporter in Huntsville.

4.  I'm pretty sure they are in a restaurant in Tuscaloosa in one of the parts.  There are lots of places in Tuscaloosa that have old UA pictures on the wall, so it's hard to tell which one it is...Waysider maybe?  Or City Cafe?  Locals, help me out!

5.  (And I'm going to be honest on this one) Auburn doesn't have a War Eagle commercial. :)  I love y'all, I really do...except for football season.  Then it's on.

Happy Christmas Eve Eve!

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

Update coming soon, I promise.  It's been a crazy week.  I'm going to go back to packing these now...

Ten Years Ago

Ten years ago today was one of the scariest days of my life.

I will never forget it.  I was at my high school that morning (Hillcrest for you locals), just by coincidence (it was a Saturday).  I think I had to take one of those pre-college tests...I can't really remember which one.  I will never forget walking out to the car and it just being very, very balmy...almost like summer.  It was also so windy.  It was just one of those days that didn't feel right.

A few hours later we figured out why.

It was the weekend before Christmas, so I was at a Christmas party in McCalla (about halfway between Birmingham and Tuscaloosa) with my grandmother and brothers. My dad works in parts sales, so my mom was helping him with end of the year inventory that weekend...so they weren't with us. That becomes important later.

This video really sums up what happened.

We had the TV on James Spann (as most typically do in Alabama during bad weather) during the Christmas party, and this caught my eye at about the point that this clip starts. It was one of those "feel the blood rush out of my face" moments. I knew exactly where this was the second they showed it.

Scary Part #1: If you watch this, there is an itty bitty water tower right below the tornado...that is literally across the street from my high school. We lived about two miles from the high school at that point. Keep in mind we were 45 minutes away from home, and my parents weren't home...so that was our only reference as to whether or not our house was still there.

Scary Part #2: My dad works at a car dealership on Skyland Boulevard. The tornado went straight from our area of town to Skyland (they mention that several times in the video). As soon as I heard this, I called my mom (back in the EARLY days of cell phones)...she told me the power was already out, but they were watching the tornado. I took me a minute to figure out they weren't watching it on TV, but out the front window.

At about 5 minutes into the video, they say that there is "extensive damage to the Englewood community"...well, that's our neck of the woods. That's when I just fell apart. 

We obviously left as soon as the weather was safe enough to figure out what happened.  I remember seeing the first bit of damage...if you're from Tuscaloosa, it was the JVC plant you can see from the interstate.  Part of the roof was torn off of it.

We got to my house a little while later, and thank God, it was ok.  We had been about a mile out of the damage path.  The rest of the day was spent trying to figure out what happened.  Nobody was allowed into the damage area without proof that they lived there.  I had several friends that basically lost their house that day.  Just like with most high schools, there are several neighborhoods around it...this one was no different.  Many, many people I knew lived in those houses.

The worst part was that this was the week before Christmas.  I remember the next day driving in the area.  In the ditches, there was debris that had blown in.  It was covered with the snow that fell that night while people were trying to clean up everything they had...this was the day after it had been in the 70's and balmy.  It was just surreal.

It's just a day I will never forget.  Thank God that's the closest I've ever gotten to knowing what it's like to lose every belonging I have, and it makes me so thankful to have a roof over my head.

Outdoor Christmas Decorations

I wasn't able to put up pictures of our outdoor Christmas decorations last night (because of, you know, the darkness)...but here they are!

I actually made the new wreaths last year.  I got all of the ribbon/embellishments on super discount at a craft store, so I stocked up while I could!  I really like how they turned out.

They're making me want to switch to all bronze/gold for our Christmas decorations!  I love the combination.

This on the other hand...I'm not thrilled with the way it turned out.  I wanted to keep with the gold/bronze thing, but I can't get this thing to stay in place on my mailbox to save my life.  It's been super windy/rainy here the past few days, so that could be it.  It's about to drive me crazy though!

Christmas Tour of Homes

Welcome to our home!

I'll be honest - after the past few months, I thought about not doing Christmas decorations this year.  But we decided to, and I'm glad I did!  It's really cheered me up lately.

You can see our decorations from last year here.

I also have my outdoor pictures in another post...you can click here to see them!

Thanks for stopping by! :)

Test Results

Late Thursday night, we got the latest round of test results back from the doctor.  My HCG level had gone from a 10 on Tuesday to a 3 on Thursday.  That means I had what is called a chemical pregnancy...it's basically just a very, very early miscarriage (one that is detected by a pregnancy test and can't be by an ultrasound before it miscarries).

Noah and I would like to get some testing done to see what is going on.  I've done a little research online, and there are many causes of multiple miscarriages that are VERY easily fixable.  It very well could be that we have the worst luck ever and having two back to back was a fluke, but it could also be something that is treatable by very minor surgery or taking medicine.  We've spoken to our doctor about this, and she's willing to refer us to an infertility center in Birmingham.  Depending on whether or not our insurance will cover it, we are going to pursue this at this point.

I actually miscarried Wednesday, on our anniversary.  Talk about the worst timing ever.  I'm just still having a hard time wrapping my mind around where we are right now.  About 1 percent of couples go through multiple miscarriages, so this just isn't something you ever imagine.  And accepting it at Christmas (usually my favorite time of the year) is making it even harder.

Emotionally, I've been better than I thought I would be.  Working has helped so, so much.  I obviously had my mini meltdown Tuesday.  After deciding not to work Wednesday, I realized I was sitting at home wallowing in my own pity party, so I worked a half day.  It kind of broke me out of my funk.  The only other time I've let it get to me was today...we were shopping for my new niece (my sister-in-law is due in April), and I couldn't stop thinking "I should be shopping for my baby too."  That got me.  I'm better now though.

Here I am again thanking you all for your sweet words, prayers, and encouraging stories.  Just like last time, they have helped me get through this...and I can never thank you enough for that.  I wish I could give each of you a hug!  I know this will eventually pass...I just have to keep telling myself that.

Anniversaries

Three years ago today, I married my best friend in the whole world.

I don't know what I would do without him, especially after the past few months.  He's my everything.  

Two months ago yesterday was one of the saddest days of our life.  We found out that we were losing our first baby, and I had to have surgery to end the pregnancy because my body wasn't doing it on its own.  

And yesterday, on the 2 month anniversary of that awful day, we found out that we have probably lost our second baby.

I took a test last Friday, and it was positive.  I was in shock.  It had only been two months since our D&C, and I really didn't think it would happen that quickly (it took us four months the first time).  After two more tests (including a digital), it finally started to sink in.  I had some of the same problems I did with the first pregnancy, but didn't really think too much of it...I thought that maybe that was just the way my body responds to the hormonal changes.  I was on a cloud all weekend.

Yesterday morning, we went in for our first appointment.  Just as a precaution, my doctor does a urine test when you come in for your first pregnancy appointment.  We went through all of the insurance stuff again, went through all of the pre-screening again, and then the nurse came in with the news - they had done two tests and couldn't get a positive.

I lost it.

We talked to the doctor, and she had us do a blood test (they are much more accurate and can get an exact hormone level).  This might mean nothing to most of you, but I'll mention it for those that know what these levels mean - my hcg reading was a 10, and my progesterone was "very low" (she didn't say how low).  The test I took Friday reads positive at a minimum of 25 on hcg, so we know I had at least that Friday.  She said that, at this point, she honestly doesn't know what is going on.  It is more than likely a very early miscarriage.  That's all I can figure.  I've had negative pregnancy tests since the D&C, so there's no way it is the leftovers from the last pregnancy.  

My body still hasn't "officially" miscarried on its own this time.  I don't know what the deal is.  I am a wreck right now.  I took yesterday off work to do the appointment, and I took today off too...just because I didn't want to lose it in front of the kids, and I've been crying pretty much non-stop since yesterday.  I just don't understand why this is happening again.  Everybody tells you that it is so, so rare to have two miscarriages, yet here we sit. 

I have to go back tomorrow to get another hcg reading, to make sure it isn't going up and that we just caught a very, very early pregnancy.  I don't think that's possible though - not with 3 positive tests 4 days before that reading yesterday.  After that, I want some kind of testing done, to make sure there isn't something wrong with one of us.  We have no reason to believe that at this point - we're both healthy, there's no history of genetic disorders on either side of the family - but something's not right.

Obviously, we need lots of prayer right now.  This is just an incredibly rough time.

Groceries - December 1st

This was one of my best trips in awhile!  I didn't do much shopping for November, so I'm trying to get back into the swing of making my list every week.  I'd say this is a pretty good one! :)

Overall, I spent $5.03 pretax for $28.36 worth of groceries...for a 82% savings!  I haven't been above 80% in awhile...I'm super proud of this one!

Publix Bleach - Normally $1.67, penny item this week

Farm Rich Frozen Meatballs - Normally $6.99, on sale for $3.49, had a $1/1 coupon - $2.49 total

2 pouches Idahoan Mashed Potatoes - Normally $1.25, B1G1 free this week, had 2 40 cents/1 coupons (which doubled) - 35 cents PROFIT!

1 bag Yellow Corn Meal - Normally $1.49, on sale for $1.19, had a $1/1 coupon - 19 cents

2 bags Pepperidge Farm Milano Cookies - Normally $3.39, on sale for B1G1 free, had 2 $1/1 coupons - $1.19 total

2 half gallons Silk Soymilk - Normally $3.19, on sale for $2.50, had 2 $1/1 manufacturer coupons and 2 $1/1 Publix coupons - $1 total

2 cans Green Giant Green Beans - Normally $1.29, on sale for B1G1 free, had a 50 cents/2 coupon (which doubled) - 29 cents total