Saturday, December 11, 2010

Test Results

Late Thursday night, we got the latest round of test results back from the doctor.  My HCG level had gone from a 10 on Tuesday to a 3 on Thursday.  That means I had what is called a chemical pregnancy...it's basically just a very, very early miscarriage (one that is detected by a pregnancy test and can't be by an ultrasound before it miscarries).

Noah and I would like to get some testing done to see what is going on.  I've done a little research online, and there are many causes of multiple miscarriages that are VERY easily fixable.  It very well could be that we have the worst luck ever and having two back to back was a fluke, but it could also be something that is treatable by very minor surgery or taking medicine.  We've spoken to our doctor about this, and she's willing to refer us to an infertility center in Birmingham.  Depending on whether or not our insurance will cover it, we are going to pursue this at this point.

I actually miscarried Wednesday, on our anniversary.  Talk about the worst timing ever.  I'm just still having a hard time wrapping my mind around where we are right now.  About 1 percent of couples go through multiple miscarriages, so this just isn't something you ever imagine.  And accepting it at Christmas (usually my favorite time of the year) is making it even harder.

Emotionally, I've been better than I thought I would be.  Working has helped so, so much.  I obviously had my mini meltdown Tuesday.  After deciding not to work Wednesday, I realized I was sitting at home wallowing in my own pity party, so I worked a half day.  It kind of broke me out of my funk.  The only other time I've let it get to me was today...we were shopping for my new niece (my sister-in-law is due in April), and I couldn't stop thinking "I should be shopping for my baby too."  That got me.  I'm better now though.

Here I am again thanking you all for your sweet words, prayers, and encouraging stories.  Just like last time, they have helped me get through this...and I can never thank you enough for that.  I wish I could give each of you a hug!  I know this will eventually pass...I just have to keep telling myself that.